If Microsoft was founded in Georgia...

I found this cute little ditty at www.gagirl.com/southern.....


1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders;
2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle;
3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag;
4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw";
5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos;
6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse;
7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!";
8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be Achy-Breaky Heart;
9. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt";
10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++";
11. Winders 95 logo would incorporate Confederate Flag;
12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word;
13. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!";
14. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz";
15. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am;
16. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse;
17. Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver;
18. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire;
19. Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard;
20. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator;
21. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates;
22. Redman plug'n'play interface;
23. They could still use Ky-row as code name for next upgrade, but Albenny would be the one after that;
24. Screen saver would be a kudzu vine which would consume your program manager;
25. Instructions for use would include "mash the control key.";
26. The HQ building will be a double wide on cinder blocks, because MICROSOFT is hyear to stay.

Bullitin Board Blues

This is a picture of my bulletin board at work. Yes, you can tell I do not have any creative juices flowing because I am blogging about my bulletin board. Just bare with me...I will get my mojo back!


There are calendars here...one is my 3 month at a time (a must for accounting) and of course the most important one - My Lost Calendar! April featured Ben. Remeber Ben is married in real life to the actress who plays Arlene on True Blood. (Gosh I love those shows)

There are various pictures of family, pets and friends....even a fortune from a cookie...

...postcards, pictures and birthday cards (love my kitty cat birthday cards!)...but wait, what is this I see....

My Boo and my ByeBye! They always make me smile!

USELESS TUESDAY

~ Kernels of popcorn that do not pop are called "Old Maids."

~ In aviation slang a zoombag is a flight suit.

~ Hazelnuts are the nuts used in making Nutella Spread. (had this for the first time in Rome - loved it! Just bought some last week as a surprise for Rachel. She loved it too!)

~ The only theme song from a James Bond movie to reach the top spot on U.S. pop music charts was "A View to a Kill," performed by the rock group Duran Duran for the 1985 film.

~ The legendary actress Greta Garbo is depicted as Melpomene, the Greek muse of tragedy, in a marble mosaic in the National Gallery in London.

Silver Patterns

Another except from the wonderful book "Southern Belle Primer!"

"My dear, this is something you must always remember: Your bosom can be fake, your smile can be fake and your hair color can be fake. But your pearls and your silver must always be real." - South Carolina grandmother talking to her granddaughter

Some people are born with silver spoons - Southern belles are born with silver patterns. If you don't inherit your pattern at birth, you go down to the department store and pick it out, sometimes as early as age nine or ten. This is sort of like a First Communion for Southern Belles.

Southerners are quite committed to silver patterns. They look at the silver selection as closely as some others might study the horoscope. When a girl picks Grand Baroque at age 11, she hasn't just decided how to set her table, she's charted her course in life.

Just as Aquarians are not compatible with Capricorns, Grand Baroque girls are not to marry men whose mothers have chosen Rose Point. There are far too many conflicting roses in those patterns. Their silver clashes and so will their personalities.

ARE YOU PACKING...UPDATE

Turns out the purple lighter was Btuts. I will give you a lighter the next time I see you. I probably won't have the purple one anymore! But I am sure I will have picked up a few others by then!

Love

USELESS INFO TUESDAY

~ The greatest number of Friday the 13ths possible in a single calendar year is 3. There were 3 in 2009 and the next time will be 2012. This year there will be only one - in August.

~ Fanatic basketball fan Eric James Torpy asked to have an additional 3 years added to his 30 year jail sentence for robbery and attempted murder. Why? So his jail sentence would match Boston Celtic Larry Bird's jersey number - 33.

~ There have been 4 Oscar winning Best Pictures that have animal names in their titles: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1976), Deer Hunter (1979), Dances With Wolves (1991), and The Silence of the Lambs (1992).

~ ANDY THOMAS does not like Useless Info Tuesday. He told me so Friday night.

Andy, embrace the knowledge - don't hate.

ARE YOU PACKING?

...I am, at least when it comes to lighters!
I decided to see how many lighters I had in my purse today. The reason I decided to do this is I drew out the purple lighter on the far right - the one with the funky design. I had never seen this lighter before. I don't know where I picked it up from...so, let me just apologize in advance if I took it from you on Friday night at CajunFest, or afterwards at the Hot Tub!

I wanted to make sure that I didn't have a kleptomania problem. Did I have 10 other lighters in my purse that didn't belong to me? I had to find out! Rest assured, the other 5 look reasonably familiar. I have had the yellow one with the bishop on it since last August. TCW brought it back to me from Florida (probably because he was feeling a little guilty about all of the lighters he had "borrowed" from me.)

So, if this is your lighter, please tell me. The next time I see you I will return it, or give you another one that I took from someone else!