Some funny lines from the play...
Grandma: Three words people: full, body, make-over! Legs, hair, boobs, the full enchilada! Call me a cougar, but I betcha there's a couple of ninety year old hotties out there just waiting to take their teeth out and chow down on a Grandma sandwich!
Grandma: (to Pugsley) Time, my dear, is a thief. She'll stral your soul and flee on little fairy wings....NOW, STAY OUT OF MY SHIT OR I'LL RIP YOU LEG OFF AND BURY IT IN THE BACKYARD!...I love you.
Uncle Fester: (to audience) You're probably thinking: what could a fat bald person of no specific sexuality know about love?
Grandma: One sip of this will turn Mary Poppins into Madea.
Pugsley: I don't understand your references.
Grandma: Then stop the damn texting and pick up a book once in a while!
Lucas: But you see the lover always comes back...Eulesies, Tristan, Romeo.
Wednesday: Look, I'm home schooled...what's your point?
Gomez: You gave a child agrimonium!?
Grandma: I did NOT! I gave him love and understanding... which is a lot more than I get around here! I know what you've been saying missy. Sure I smoke weed in the attic! It's medicinal! I have... gingivitis. And I'm the matriarch of this family! I'm somebody's mother! And let me clear that one up right now! You wanna know who's mother I am?! It's... ohhh I've got to stop smoking weed in the attic!