Thursday, July 28, 2011


...Meet the 2011 Ms. Alabama Nursing Home!

“Felma, who is 100 years young, beat out 74 other contestants….they all underwent 15 minute interviews.  As part of your duties, Felma will travel to various nursing homes and community events.” - From

Happy Southern Fried Thursday!  Only in the South people, Only in the South!  Love it!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011


Huge shout out to Big D for Guest Blogging Useless Info Tuesday for me!  As you can guess, typing is not that comfortable for me right now.  (He attached pictures too, but they would not copy over).

Thanks again!

From: Thompson, David
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 1:58 PM
To: Laura Campbell

Subject: Useless Facts

In case you’d like a hand this week… I rounded up a few for you…
~  The Bible is the number one shoplifted book in America.

~  The English-language alphabet originally had only 24 letters. U and J were added later, in that order.

~  Mageiricophobia is the intense fear of having to cook.

~  An apple, onion, and potato all have the same taste. The differences in flavor are caused by their smell. To prove this – pinch your nose and take a bite from each. The will all taste sweet.

~  The exact geographic center of the US is near Lebanon, Kansas.

~  Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different.


~  It only takes 10 pounds of pressure to break a collarbone.

Monday, July 25, 2011


I am sure you all have heard the news (because I know my health and well-being is of utmost importance to you, lol)....I broke my collar bone Friday.  You can see the brake in the x-ray below.  It broke right where the bone should attach to the arm bone.   (And no, I did not swallow a miniature chiminea.  Jimmy held the x-ray up against the back door for the photo and the chiminea is on the patio.)

TCW was once again my knight in shining armor (or shining jeep) and carried me to the emergency room Friday night.  TCW, Miss Polly, and this really HOT nurse Jimmaymay took good care of me all weekend.

Had some problems with getting sick on my pain pills, but then got my hands on some phenergan, so that is under control.

Saw the Ortho Dr. Sharp this morning.  Good report.  Funny thing is, I call Tim right as Jimmamay and me are leaving the office, and he tells me verbatim what my diagnosis is.  I was like WTH, were you in the room?  Turn's out, of course Lisa Tutb had sent an email (she works there) alerting TCW and BTut with my status...

"Subject: LL -

No Surgery - Dr Sharp said it is bad that it is broken but it is good that the alignment is where it should be and it should heal nicely - Told her not to get use to the immobilizer - wants her moving it as soon as next week - and no driving while on pain meds (which he changed since the tabs make her sick) She has left here one very happy lady!!"

I will not take offense that she just looked at me and laughed her a** off when we talked to her.  I said "It's not funny!"  She responded "I KNOW."

Answer me this...If she knew it wasn't funny, why did she almost give herself a hernia laughing?

I see the Doc again next Tuesday.  Thanks to everyone for taking such good care of me.  I am so lucky to have good friends.  I also can't wait for July to be over.

Thursday, July 21, 2011


Make new friends,
But keep the old.
One is silver
And the other help you clean out your Mom's house.

Thanks so much to TCW, BTut and Wino Bill.  I could not have made it through the past few weeks without you.

Much Love.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


~  In the sport of golf, a condor stands for 4 under par, or a triple eagle.  It would mean getting a hole in one on a par 5.

~  In Edgar Rice Burroughs' original ape-man story, "Tarzan of the Apes," Jane's hometown was Baltimore, Maryland.  Her full name was Jane Porter.

~  Lacrosse is the official summer sport of Canada.  It was named the official summer sport in 1994, when hockey was designated the country's official winter sport.

~  The maximum number of people who can share a Nobel Prize is 3.

~  The pangolin, or scaly anteater, of Asia and Africa is a mammal often referred to as a pine cone with legs.  It has also been called an artichoke with legs.

Friday, July 15, 2011



July has been a very stressful month for me.  Hopefully the second half of the month will be better.  I just must refuse to deal with any mental anguish!

Mom's move - stressful - check
Cussing out German POW - infuriating - check
Working on cleaning out Mom's house all weekends and most week nights - exhausting - check
Limb falling on house - frightening - check
Dealing with psychopathic sibling for 30 hours - irritating - check
Car repairs to the Malibu costing $1600 - depressing - check
Deductible for new roof $1000 - depressing part deux - check
Being able to use Mom's car then realizing it had a flat tire - priceless because hell, I just give up for now.

Have a good weekend.  I might hibernate!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011


I have been carrying two red lighters around for a couple of weeks now.  They both came out of the same pack.  Monday, I was searching my purse for the safety deposit key when I noticed this...

TCW's addiction must have worn off on me!  I now have four read lighters.  I guess I assumed every time I saw a red lighter it was mine! 

So, if you have been around me in the past couple of weeks and are missing a red lighter, I have it!  Sorry. 

P.S.  Is there a pill for this?

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


~  The world's first televised sports spectacular was the Joe Loius - Bill Conn heavyweight championship at Yankee Stadium on June 19, 1946.  It was seen by 45,266 paying spectators at the stadium plus an estimated 150,000 TV viewers.

~  Mouse fur was used to make fake eyebrows that were considered fashionable in the 18th century.  Real eyebrows would be shaved off and replaced with fake ones.

~  The Margherita pizza's colors were intended to represent the colors of the flag of Italy - red (tomatoes), shite (mozzarella), and green (fresh basil).  Created in the late 19th century, it was named in honor of Queen Margherita of Savoy.

~  Sean Connery made his professional acting debut onstage as a sailor in the chorus of "South Pacific" in 1951, in London.

~  The daisy was originally known as "day's eye" because its petals, like the human eye, open in the morning and close at night.  Through usage, day's eye eventually became daisy.

Friday, July 8, 2011


...when this happened!

Yes, I was spending quality time with the Byebye last night watching Big Brother.  Around 8:45 I thought a helicopter hit my house...the windows rattled, huge crash.  I looked at my freaked out dog and said "This can not be good."  My BFF TCW came down and climbed up on the roof with a flashlight.  He is priceless!  He could not see any gaping holes. 

I called my yardman "Streamline Cutting" to have his brother come give me an estimate.  I was leaving for work this morning and they pulled up.  Needless to say, the limb is now cut up and on the ground.  I do have a small hole that they covered with a tarp.  They are great.  Waiting on the insurance adjuster...wish me luck.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011


Yes, I am back.  Mother is moved and having a blast at her new digs.  We are cleaning out the house this weekend, so if any of you want to help, just come on down.

Huge thanks to TCW and BTut!  Love, Love, Love you!  I couldn't have done it without you.

Summing up the move...

There were tears...
There were laughs...
There were cuss words...
There were strained moments...
There were sighs of relief...
There were alcoholic beverages...
Nuff' said!