If Microsoft was founded in Georgia...

I found this cute little ditty at www.gagirl.com/southern.....


1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders;
2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle;
3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag;
4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw";
5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos;
6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse;
7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!";
8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be Achy-Breaky Heart;
9. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt";
10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++";
11. Winders 95 logo would incorporate Confederate Flag;
12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word;
13. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!";
14. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz";
15. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am;
16. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse;
17. Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver;
18. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire;
19. Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard;
20. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator;
21. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates;
22. Redman plug'n'play interface;
23. They could still use Ky-row as code name for next upgrade, but Albenny would be the one after that;
24. Screen saver would be a kudzu vine which would consume your program manager;
25. Instructions for use would include "mash the control key.";
26. The HQ building will be a double wide on cinder blocks, because MICROSOFT is hyear to stay.

Bullitin Board Blues

This is a picture of my bulletin board at work. Yes, you can tell I do not have any creative juices flowing because I am blogging about my bulletin board. Just bare with me...I will get my mojo back!


There are calendars here...one is my 3 month at a time (a must for accounting) and of course the most important one - My Lost Calendar! April featured Ben. Remeber Ben is married in real life to the actress who plays Arlene on True Blood. (Gosh I love those shows)

There are various pictures of family, pets and friends....even a fortune from a cookie...

...postcards, pictures and birthday cards (love my kitty cat birthday cards!)...but wait, what is this I see....

My Boo and my ByeBye! They always make me smile!

USELESS TUESDAY

~ Kernels of popcorn that do not pop are called "Old Maids."

~ In aviation slang a zoombag is a flight suit.

~ Hazelnuts are the nuts used in making Nutella Spread. (had this for the first time in Rome - loved it! Just bought some last week as a surprise for Rachel. She loved it too!)

~ The only theme song from a James Bond movie to reach the top spot on U.S. pop music charts was "A View to a Kill," performed by the rock group Duran Duran for the 1985 film.

~ The legendary actress Greta Garbo is depicted as Melpomene, the Greek muse of tragedy, in a marble mosaic in the National Gallery in London.

Silver Patterns

Another except from the wonderful book "Southern Belle Primer!"

"My dear, this is something you must always remember: Your bosom can be fake, your smile can be fake and your hair color can be fake. But your pearls and your silver must always be real." - South Carolina grandmother talking to her granddaughter

Some people are born with silver spoons - Southern belles are born with silver patterns. If you don't inherit your pattern at birth, you go down to the department store and pick it out, sometimes as early as age nine or ten. This is sort of like a First Communion for Southern Belles.

Southerners are quite committed to silver patterns. They look at the silver selection as closely as some others might study the horoscope. When a girl picks Grand Baroque at age 11, she hasn't just decided how to set her table, she's charted her course in life.

Just as Aquarians are not compatible with Capricorns, Grand Baroque girls are not to marry men whose mothers have chosen Rose Point. There are far too many conflicting roses in those patterns. Their silver clashes and so will their personalities.

ARE YOU PACKING...UPDATE

Turns out the purple lighter was Btuts. I will give you a lighter the next time I see you. I probably won't have the purple one anymore! But I am sure I will have picked up a few others by then!

Love

USELESS INFO TUESDAY

~ The greatest number of Friday the 13ths possible in a single calendar year is 3. There were 3 in 2009 and the next time will be 2012. This year there will be only one - in August.

~ Fanatic basketball fan Eric James Torpy asked to have an additional 3 years added to his 30 year jail sentence for robbery and attempted murder. Why? So his jail sentence would match Boston Celtic Larry Bird's jersey number - 33.

~ There have been 4 Oscar winning Best Pictures that have animal names in their titles: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1976), Deer Hunter (1979), Dances With Wolves (1991), and The Silence of the Lambs (1992).

~ ANDY THOMAS does not like Useless Info Tuesday. He told me so Friday night.

Andy, embrace the knowledge - don't hate.

ARE YOU PACKING?

...I am, at least when it comes to lighters!
I decided to see how many lighters I had in my purse today. The reason I decided to do this is I drew out the purple lighter on the far right - the one with the funky design. I had never seen this lighter before. I don't know where I picked it up from...so, let me just apologize in advance if I took it from you on Friday night at CajunFest, or afterwards at the Hot Tub!

I wanted to make sure that I didn't have a kleptomania problem. Did I have 10 other lighters in my purse that didn't belong to me? I had to find out! Rest assured, the other 5 look reasonably familiar. I have had the yellow one with the bishop on it since last August. TCW brought it back to me from Florida (probably because he was feeling a little guilty about all of the lighters he had "borrowed" from me.)

So, if this is your lighter, please tell me. The next time I see you I will return it, or give you another one that I took from someone else!

SOUTHERN FRIED THURSDAY

"We work hard in order not to work. Any time spent on business is more or less wasted, but you have to do it in order to be able to hunt and fish and gossip." - Harper Lee


"True, the devil does have his fun side. Nightlife in the South is marvelously seedy and there is a very palpable sense of sin. The biker bars are rougher, the gay bars are gayer (the South is home of drag), the nudie bars are nudie-er. And ah, the parking lot of a Southern bar on a muggy Saturday night. That truly is the Devil's playground. With any luck you'll find drugs, prostitution, gambling and firecrackers, not to mention the town's leading minister and a county commissioner or two...that is the best thing about sin in the South; the Devil still makes you do it." - Floridian Robert Plunket


"Feeling good was good enough for me." - Janis Joplin

USELESS INFO #21.3

~ Grand Rapids, MI is named after the Grand River because of its proximity to the river's rapids.

~ An exobiologist studies extraterrestrial life.

~ Coffee became known as "a cup of Joe" after Secretary of the Navy Josephus "Joe" Daniels. He banned "ardent spirits" from the officers' mess in 1914, making coffee the strongest drink offered aboard ship and inspiring the slang reference to coffee as a cup of Joe.

~ A Malayan flying fox is actually a bat - one of the world's largest, with a wingspan of more than 6 feet. Its scientific name is Pteropus vampyrus.

~ It takes approximately 4 1/2 pounds of fresh grapes to make 1 pound of raisins.

CARRIE AND MICHAEL ARE MARRIED!

I just found this out last week! Two of my favorite shows have something in common (well, a lot of them do, but this has to do with true love)! Arlene (Carrie Preston) on True Blood (you know my vampire show) is, in real life, married to......


...yep, you guessed it Ben (Michael Emerson) from Lost!

What a small world of Laura Leigh's Television Shows Crazy Coincidence World...or something like that.

SPRING HAS SPRUNG

Yes, Spring has sprung. And with it comes this....
...my beautiful Kwansan cherry tree in full bloom....

...tulips and pansies popping up every where! So pretty....

....but it also brings this....Nasty, nasty pollen...and lots of it...which leads to...

...me having to take all these...

...and use lots of tissue and my Netie Pot.

Lord, this has been the worst allergy/sinus season for me ever! I think I am finally starting to get better after 10 days of coughing, nose blowing, ear popping, etc. I am hibernating this weekend - just eating and sleeping. I am so sick of being sick!

Remember me in your prayers.

Oh, and feel free to drop off a casserole!

P.S. Don't you worry about the cough medicine saying it is Rachel's.

SOUTHERN FRIED THURSDAY

"In the South, people take great pleasure in other people's lives. They consider them works of art. Eccentrics are discussed and doted upon." - John Berendt

"A Southern woman knows how to get her point across without insulting someone, screaming at them, and belittling them. She has learned to compromise. In a good way she's the perfect politician. I do believe that the first female President we elect is going to be a Southern Woman." - Fannie Flag (in a Southern Living magazine interview)

"'Isn't that nice,' Meemaw said. 'Tupperware...' You wouldn't have thought a man's entire head would fit into a Tupperware container designed to hold a head of lettuce, but Chester had a small head for a man his size." - Mark Childress in Crazy in Alabama

"If we weren't crazy, we would all go insane." - Jimmy Buffet

USELESS TUESDAY

~ April Fool's Day is believed to have originated in France. It is called April Fish, or Poisson d'Avril, which is the phrase French youngsters shout after taping paper fish or pictures of a fish onto the backs of friends. This prank is linked to the old Julian calendar when April was the start of the New Year and coincided with the zodiacal sign Pisces, the fish constellation.

~ According to the Old Testament, the ten plagues visited upon the Egyptians when their Pharaoh refused to free the Israeli slaves were: the waters of Egypt turning to blood, frogs, lice, flies, cattle disease, boils, hail, locusts, darkness, and the slaying of the firstborn.

~Baseball legend Joe DiMaggio struck out only 369 times in 6,821 at bats during his 13 season major league career. He hit 361 home runs.

~ The adult human appendix is usually between 3 and 4 inches long.

~ The Easter Bunny was introduced to the US in the 1700's in Pennsylvania by German settlers who brought the folklore from their homeland.

ANALYZE THIS...

I had an interesting dream the other night....

It started off with me being on a date with Hugh Hefner. We were approaching the wave pool at Point Mallard by climbing over the concrete benches that surround the outer perimeter. We both were dressed to the nines...I had on a lovely, red, flowing dress, and Hugh had on pants and a satin dinner jacket. I was looking at all of the people staring at us. I thought, "What are you doing on a date with Hugh Hefner...he is so OLD." Then, I noticed the attention we were getting and I didn't care anymore!
We made our way to the ballroom that was enclosed in a huge building (but you didn't know that Point Mallard had ballroom facilities). We were talking to various people (I don't remember anyone famous), and then I saw him across the room....

YES! It was Michael Emerson who plays Ben on LOST! If you know anything about me you know I am totally obsessed with LOST!!!! He spotted us and started to approach. I asked Hugh if he knew Michael, and he said yes. Michael was the host of the party! He came up to us and said hello to Hugh and then he said this to me:

"Hello, you must be Laura Leigh. I have been waiting to meet you. I prepared all of the food here tonight, and I just can't wait for us to sit down and talk about cooking!"

OK, I was floored. Two of my favorite things 1) a character from my favorite TV show of all times and 2) talking about cooking and sharing recipes!

It's official. I am a GEEK! This is the best dream I have had in a long time.

P.S. I can't really figure out the purpose of Hugh - guess he was just a catalyst to get me to the ultimate celebrity meeting ever! Or, is there some underlying meaning - like maybe I missed my purpose in life by not posing for Playboy when I had the chance.....yeah, I am kidding.

HAPPY EASTER

Hope you all have a Happy, Sunny, Easter!

The following is from Wikipedia:

The Easter Bunny is not an Easter symbol. Bringing Easter eggs seems to have its origins in Alsace and the Upper Rhineland, both then in the Holy Roman Empire of the German Nation, and southwestern Germany, where the practice was first recorded in a German publication in the early 1600s. The first edible Easter Bunnies were made in Germany during the early 1800s and were made of pastry and sugar.

The Easter Bunny was introduced to America by the German settlers who arrived in the Pennsylvania Dutch country during the 1700s.[4] The arrival of the "O_ster Haws_e" (a phonetic transcription of a dialectal pronunciation of the German Osterhase) was considered one of "childhood's greatest pleasures," similar to the arrival of Kriist Kindle (from the German Christkindl) on Christmas Eve.

According to the tradition, children would build brightly colored nests, often out of caps and bonnets, in secluded areas of their homes. The "O_ster Haws_e" would, if the children had been good, lay brightly colored eggs in the nest. As the tradition spread, the nest has become the manufactured, modern Easter basket, and the placing of the nest in a secluded area has become the tradition of hiding baskets.[5]

SOUTHERN FRIED THURSDAY

"The summer picnic gave ladies a chance to show off their baking hands. On the barbecue pit, chickens and spareribs sputtered in their own fat and a sauce whose recipe was guarded in the family like a scandalous affair." - Maya Angelou

"Just being back home with my family, that's when I get carried away...I'm swept away by the security, the ordinariness." - Dave Mathews

"Every house my mother has ever lived in has had more beds in it than there were people actually livin in the house...those beds were filled with...cousins, friends, and kin staying with us while they looked for work or got through a rough patch in life." - Kentuckian Ronni Lundy

"My Daddy sometimes didn't get along with his brothers. They were jealous and suspicious of each other, and peace was oftern tentative when they socialized, but we always went to the beach together every summer." - Alabamian Tom Wofford