MY EYES ADORED YOU....

Though I never laid a hand on you,
My eyes adored you
Like a million miles away from me you couldn't see
How I adored you;
So close, so close and yet far away.

There, maybe that is out of my system now. I have been singing this in my head since last Friday! A lot of times, when something is in my head and I blog about it, it goes away.

I am on a horse. Oops

Originally recorded by the 4 Seasons in early 1974 but then shelved. Released by lead singer Frankie Valli in Nov 1974 as a solo hit.

USELESS INFO TUESDAY

~ In the world of science, schmoos are yeast cells preparing to mate. Their shape resembles the Schmoo in the "Lil Abner" comics.

~ In 2007 Uncle Ben (of Uncle Ben's Rice) had an image remake. After 61 years, he became chairman of the board in company ads.

~ According to the New Testament, Jesus fed 5000 people with just five loaves of bread and two fishes.

~ There were almost 172 years between the admission of the first and fiftieth states into the United States. Delaware achieved statehood on December 7, 1787; Hawaii, on August 21, 1959.

~ Hockey great Bernie Geoffrion, boxing champ Ray Mancini, and tennis phenom Boris Becker (HOT - He is definitely on a horse!) all had a nickname in common - Boom Boom.

LEWIS CARROLL WAS A PERVERT

Yes, you heard me...the author of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" was a perv. Or, that is what a lot of contemporary writer's are saying. I read an article in Smithsonian Magazine yesterday about Charles Dodgson, aka Lewis Carroll.
He wrote "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" for Alice Liddell, a young girl that he seemed to have a huge affinity for. He seemed to be more attracted to young children than any adults. He preferred to hang out with his acquaintance's children than the grown ups, and there is no evidence that he ever had a serious relationship with a woman (or man) his own age.

He also liked to photograph young children in various stages of undress and completely nude. This is Alice at age 8 dressed as a beggar. She came from an affluent family, so why would he want a picture of her with bare shoulder looking unkempt? I think the reason is obvious.

There were other pictures of children he had taken on Wikipedia, but I chose not to include them on this blog.

There are many biographies written on Dodgson, especially in the 1990's, and most these assume that he was a pedophile. One written my Morton N. Cohen in 1995 titled "Lewis Carroll: A Biography" (how original) states:

We cannot know to what extent sexual urges lay behind Charles's preference for drawing and photographing children in the nude. He contended the preference was entirely aesthetic. But given his emotional attachment to children as well as his aesthetic appreciation of their forms, his assertion that his interest was strictly artistic is naive. He probably felt more than he dared acknowledge, even to himself.[40]
Cohen notes that Dodgson "apparently convinced many of his friends that his attachment to the nude female child form was free of any eroticism", but adds that "later generations look beneath the surface" (p. 229).

Next we are going to hear that the author of "Where the Wild Things Are" is another Jeffrey Dahlmer, or Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Greenjeans were bumping uglies in the Land of Make Believe, or Mr. Rogers was like Norman Bates and had his dead mother in the closet....you could just almost make her out sometimes when he got his sweater.

People are so gross!

SOUTHERN FRIED THURSDAY (on Friday)

(Again, another wonderful excerpt from the book "A Southern Belle Primer....)
"Ya'll Drop by the House"

After any funeral in the South, it's just expected that everyone is going to "drop by the house afterward. Don't ya'll forget."

Of course there's food galore. Just because someone has passed on doesn't mean hostess duties can be shunned. Everyone comes and looks forward to Aunt Fanny's banana pudding or Cousin Jesse's Honeyed ham with "Co-cola" gravy.

Of course, Aunt Fanny and Cousin Jessee have been in their own final resting places for years, but no one else ever gets credit for the recipe. It may be 50 years later and several new generations of belles who are making that dish, but it just doesn't matter.

And while today there are a lot of new kinds of deli and pasta trays, there are certain dishes that always appear at a Southern funeral. If not, it's just not considered a Southern funeral.

1. Green bean casserole with cream of mushroom soup, velveeta, and canned fried onion rings.

2. Grits casserole with grits, butter, eggs and garlic velveeta.

3. Chicken casserole with rice, cream of chicken soup and velveeta.

4. Broccoli casserole with broccoli, rice, cream of mushroom soup and velveeta.

5. Bing cherry mold with black cherry Jell-O, bing cherries, shredded pineapple, pecans, and Co-cola.

6. Frozen congealed fruit salad with strawberry Jell-O, sour cream, whipped cream, miniature marshmallows and fruit cocktail (always served with a dollop of mayonnaise).

7. Deviled eggs.

8. Baked had with Co-cola gravy.

9. Lemon pound cake.

10. Pineapple upside down cake.


Love to all and happy Friday!

Shhh....Patients Sleeping

My friend owns a nursery in Decatur called Sugar Magnolias. TCW and I were there this last Saturday visiting (oh, and I bought me a beautiful Shamrock). We were in her green house, and we were looking at all her neat stuff, and we came across this group of orchids....
...I was asking all kinds of questions, and so on. Then my friend said, "Oh, these aren't for sale. This is the orchid hospital." I thought it was so neat that she would nurse other peoples orchids back to good health! And, if you have ever tried to grow an orchid (I personally have killed two) you know how temperamental they are.

How cool! An orchid hospital.

Then, this must be Nurse Kitty watching over all of her patients!


Heal Damn It! Get better my little purple, spiky one - Get well soon my beautiful, white tubular one - Fat, white, roundy white one, fight with all you have! Love to all. Now lets bow our heads.....

As I exited the "hospital" I saw Dr. Sweephay giving the janitorial crew a "pep talk!"

Please keep the patients in your prayers!

USELESS TUESLESS

~ In geology, a hoodoo is a tall, oddly shaped column or pillar of varying thickness, created by the differential weathering of rocks of varying hardness (I had to find a picture - see below)...Not to be confused with the hoodoo in the song "Born on the Bayou" that the hound dog is chasing - that would be one who charms or brings bad luck to someone.

~ John Wayne wore a toupee in all his films starting with "Wake of the Red Witch" in 1948. He would remove the wig in some movies when he played his character as an older man.

~ Michael J. Fox, as Marty McFly, had to obtain the speed of 88 MPH to activate the time machine in the DeLorean in the 1985 film "Back to the Future."

~ Funny man (not to me) Penn Jillette names his son, born in 2006, Zolton, noting that "it's my wife's maiden name and most importantly, it's the name of Dracula's dog. (Their first child, a daughter, was named Moxie CrimeFighter.)

~ William Shakespeare coined the words eyeball, madcap, and unreal. Eyeball first appeared in "A Midsummer Night's Dream," madcap, in "Love's Labor's Lost," and unreal, in "Macbeth."

BECAUSE THE NIGHT BELONGS TO WINO'S

I had a wonderful time Friday night with Btut and Bill. We went to the Carnegie for the Youth Art Month exhibit. Saw some old friends, drink some wine, and tried to eat an appetizer. Yes, I said tried! Those rich people were eating like it was their last supper! It was actually quite funny to watch! And, there were some winos there.....
...happy winos....

...sad winos...

...even angry winos!

Love my winos!

P.S. Btut as angry wino just looks constipated.

ODE TO A GRECIAN BYE-BYE

(Aside - I can pretend my dog is Greek if I want to!)

Ode to a Grecian Bye-bye (Spike)

I have a little dog.
I love him so.
If you have met me,
This you should know.

He has long, skinny legs
and big ears that are funny.
I would not part with him
for any sum of money.

The end.




P.S. I love my Boo, too!

SOUTHERN FRIED THURSDAY - QUOTES FROM STEEL MAGNOLIA

"M'Lynn, your husband is the boil on the butt of humanity."

"Don't you decorate your sisters car with condoms, it's tacky."

"Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."

"This is the 80's...if you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past."

"When it comes to suffering, she is right up there with Elizabeth Taylor."

"I'm pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton at the Piggly Wiggly this morning, and I smiled at the son of a bitch before I could help myself."

"Ouiser, you sound almost chipper what happened today, you run over a small child or something?"

"In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight."

"I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free. And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em! And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries."

"I'm not crazy, M'Lynn, I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years!"

"Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair."

"Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!"

"The only reason people are nice to me is I have more money than God."

"The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize."

"This is it, I've found it, I'm in hell."



Here's to all you Steel Magnolias out there!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!

According to legend, Saint Patrick used the shamrock, a three-leaved plant, to explain the Holy Trinity to the pre-Christian Irish people.

Little known Smith-Campbell trivia - My mom has kissed the Blarney Stone!

USELESS INFO #410

~ Baseball legend Satchel Paige claimed the family goat ate the Bible that had his birth certificate in it, therefore, he did not know the exact year in which he was born. On his tombstone there are questions marks where his birth date should have been engraved.

~ The US Congress can thank the sport of fox hunting for the term "party whip." In hunting, a rider known as a whipper rides behind the pack of hounds and cracks a whip to keep the dogs from straying. This term is used to describe party members charged with mobilizing party members for crucial votes.

~ When it comes to measuring acidity and alkalinity, the letters pH represent "Power (or Potential of Hydrogen."

~ According to legend, the great Chinese poet Li Po died while drunkenly trying to embrace the moon's reflection in the Yangtze River. He fell from a boat into the water and drowned.

~ The Sea of Azov is the shallowest sea in the world. It is about 47 feet at its deepest and is located between Ukraine and Russia.

OK, I know these are boring, but you might not always need to know exciting trivia! Be patient. Embrace the Knowledge!

I Love Greek Food....

...and I love Greece. I can't wait to go back one day. Maybe I will retire there and open a southern cooking restaurant. I bet I could make a fortune cooking good old southern food for the weary travelers!

Here was lunch today....
....the yummy, yummy gyro plate from "Papa Gyros" in Huntsville. Mouthwatering!

Jealous much?

(Who can find my cute little Peter Rabbit post-it note pad? Always need easter accessories - even at work!)

TWILIGHT ZONE AT PUBLIX

I had a weird experience at Publix yesterday. I stopped there to buy ingredients to make spinach dip for me to enjoy while watching Gone With The Wind tonight. (After yesterday's post, I have to watch it - for the 37th time).

Anyway my first weird experience was at the check out lane. I put all my groceries on the belt and then I added a tv guide because it had an article about Lost. (You must know I am obsessed with Lost! - but that is another 147 posts - I am trying to spare you) Here is how the conversation went with check out girl:

Girl: Oh My God, are you addicted (holding up magazine)
LL: Yes, I sure am
Girl: Who is your favorite character?
LL: Sawyer
Girl: Oh My God, this has been on forever!
LL: Well, this is the last season (aside - there have only been 6)
Girl: I love your sweater!
LL: Thanks (?)
Girl: That color looks so good on you. I bet that is the best color on you!
LL: Uh, thanks (?)
Girl: If I were you, I would only wear that color!
LL: (picking up groceries) Ha yeah, um thanks.

I had not taken two steps away when she was already checking out the girl behind me:

Girl: Oh My God, what kind of dog do you have?
Customer: (responds - I could not hear her)
Girl: Oh My God, that is my favorite kind of dog!

I wonder if she next told her : I bet that dog looks so good on you!

But that is not the end of my Publix Twilight Zone story.

I was carrying my two bags of groceries in my hands and pushing my buggy back to the buggy return like a good customer. I pushed in the buggy and exited the store. I hear someone calling "Ma'am, Ma'am". I turn around and there is a manager holding up my Knorr vegetable soup mix. It must have fallen into the lower part of the buggy and I forgot to put it on the counter and pay for it. She said "Did you mean to purchase this?" "It was in your buggy?" I replied yes I did.

So, I had to march back in there and get back in line and pay for the mix. (I really am glad she caught it because I would have been mad to get home and find I did not have the main ingredient I needed for my dip.) But here is what I got to thinking....did that manager think I was trying to steal the dip mix? Did she spy it in my buggy and follow me to the door seeing if I was just going to slip it in my bag? Why else would she have gone to the door? No other reason!

Am I being paranoid?

I don't really want to think about it now. I will think about it tomorrow...after all, tomorrow is another day! (cue Gone With The Wind music)

Southern Fried Thursday

I found this excerpt on the web...one of my favorite scenes, not because of Ashley (blah) but of the importance of Tara (land) to Scarlett....

In the famous paddock scene, Ashley feels cowardly and spiritless, afraid of "life becoming too real...losing the beauty of that, that life I loved...Now I find myself in a world which for me is worse than death. A world in which there's no place for me." Tired of all her efforts at Tara,

Scarlett wishes to escape too:
I do want to escape too! I'm so very tired of it all!... The South is dead, it's dead, the Yankees and the carpetbaggers have got it and there's nothing left for us.

Scarlett still hopes she can win Ashley's love - she declares her love for him and begs that they run away together to Mexico. An honorable and devoted Ashley refuses to leave his wife and child for Scarlett, even though he realizes all of Scarlett's sacrifices for them: "You've carried the load for all of us." He tells Scarlett that he will be there to help her more. Scarlett proposes only one form of help:

Scarlett: Take me away. There's nothing to keep us here.

Ashley: Nothing? Nothing, except honor.

Although he expresses his honorable love for Scarlett, embracing and kissing her, he tells her that he mostly loves her courage and her stubbornness. He reminds her that Tara will sustain her, for she loves it more than she loves him:

Ashley: Yes, there is something. Something you love better than me, though you may not know it - (He picks up the red earth of Tara and puts it in her hand.) Tara.

Scarlett: Yes. I still have this. (She composes herself coldly.) You needn't go. I won't have you all starved simply 'cause I threw myself at your head. It won't happen again. (She turns and walks away.)

She turns away from him to return to Tara, realizing that she has lost him forever.

Jonas Wilkerson, a scalawag, shows up at Tara with his "trashy wench" wife Emmy Slattery: "We came out here to pay a call, a friendly call, and talk a little business with old friends." He offers to buy Scarlett out, believing she can't pay her $300 tax debt. Scarlett throws a handful of red dirt into his face, telling him: "That's all of Tara you'll ever get!"

WIZARD OF OZ

I went to see the Broadway play "The Wizard of Oz" Sunday with Jenfer, JW, Britnaynay and KD. We had a good time and ate a good lunch before at Red Robin (Yum). I liked the play, but it was kind of like watching the movie all over again. I mean Lion was like the movie, Scarecrow was like the movie, Tinman was like the movie, Dorothy and Toto were like the movie...you get my point.

The one cute thing was they made Glenda the Good Witch a little bit ditsy like Glenda is in the play "Wicked."

Overall, it was fun and a great way to spend Sunday afternoon.

I love going to Broadway plays. I have seen the following (I know you are dying to know):

Annie
A Chorus Line
Cats (4)
Les Miserables (3)
Phantom (2)
Aida
Momma Mia
Wicked
Into the Woods
Miss Saigon

I am going to see "The Color Purple" in April.

Boring post, but that is all I have for you today.



PS. I can't get this song out of my head, so I thought if I wrote about it, maybe it will leave.

I have been wondering why in the song they are like

"Rock the Boat" then they go "Don't Rock the Boat" then again they are like "Rock the Boat" only to be followed by "Don't Tip the Boat Over". Can someone please explain this to me?

Help me. I am on a horse.

~ Britney Spears first marriage to childhood sweetheart Jason Alexander lasted 55 hours

~ In dog sledding, the command customarily given to get the dog team moving is "Hike." "Mush" is rarely used.

~ The assassination unit inside the former Soviet Union's KGB was called SMERSH. The name is an abbreviation of the unit's Russian motto, "smert shpionam" which means death to spies.

~ New Hampshire's state motto "Live Free or Die" was taken from a letter written in 1809 by Revolutionary War General John Stark to members of his company.

~ The dried meat of a coconut is called Copra.

~ I am on a horse. (Just seeing if you are paying attention!)

I HAVE A NEW FAVORITE PHRASE TO SAY....

When I first saw the "Manmercial" for Old Spice during the Super Bowl, I thought it was stupid. Now, I can't get enough of it!!! I have been saying "I am on a horse" all weekend whenever I could. Then I just laugh! It is hilarious.
If you haven't seen the commercial, go to youtube and watch it. I laugh every time! He's like:

"I am the man your man could smell like."

"Look at me, now look at your man, now look back at me."

"I have two tickets to that show you wanted to see."

"Oh, look, they just turned into diamonds."

"and, I am on a horse." my favorite.

I get catchy phrases in my head and have a hard time letting go. There was "That's some bad hat harry," and "Say hello to my little friend." At one point I was stuck on saying "seventeen-fifty" to anything that had to do with a number. How old is she? answer - Seventeen-fifty. I know I am weird.

And now, we can add "I am on a horse!"

I HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH A PORN STAR

....(thought that would get your attention!)

No, it is not my rockin' body, or my beautiful face, or even my sexual prowess....

This is Jenna Jameson - formerly Massoli - who is probably the most popular female porn star ever.
Rachel and I watched a biography on her on E Channel the other night. When she decided to become a porn star she wanted to change her name from Massoli to something catchy, but not too pornish (new word). She was flipping through the phone book, looking in the J's (she wanted her stage name to start with a J like Jenna), and stopped at James. But then she thought that still sounded to pornish (new word again). The next name was Jameson....Jenna Jameson...that had a nice ring. She called her brother to see what he thought. He was drinking on Jameson at the time, so it must be fate. She would then forever be known as Jenna Jameson.

Now, here is where we have something in common....I HAVE A BOTTLE OF JAMESON IRISH WHISKEY IN MY KITCHEN!!!! (I know this is pushing it, but I thought it would make a funny blog!)

I purchased it for the Holiday's and just never got around to enjoying any. I bet TCW has something in common with a porn star too!

Happy Weekend!

SOUTHERN FRIED THURSDAY

MORE GREAT QUOTES FROM "SEVEN SIGNS OF SOUTHERNESS"

"Try to remember that, though ignorance becomes a Southern gentleman, cowardice does not."
- Lillian Hellman "Another Part of the Forest"

"I've always depended on the kindness of strangers."
- Blanche Dubois in Tennessee Williams "A Street Car Named Desire"

"I'm a Southerner and I know neurotic behavior."
- Faye Dunaway

"When I am asked why Southern writers particularly have a penchant for writing about freaks, I say it's because we are still able to recognize one."
- Flannery O'Conner


and my personal favorite today is....

"Sometimes madness is wisdom."
- Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald

USELESS INFO TUESDAY

~ When it comes to ships, the lowest deck on a ship with four or more decks is called an orlop.


~ Thunder snow is a rare winter thunderstorm that is accompanied by lightning and a heavy snowfall instead of rain.



~ Danish fairy-tale writer, Hans Christian Anderson often left a note at his bedside stating, " I only seem dead," for fear he would be buried alive after being prematurely pronounced dead.

~ In medieval England the occupation of someone called a Kellog was a pork butcher. The name is derived from kellen (to kill in Old English) plus hog.

~ Under Jewish law a feather from a kosher bird, usually a goose or turkey must be used in handwriting a Torah, the first five books of the Old Testament. An iron or metal writing implement cannot be used because metal, which is used in making weapons, is considered a symbol of death.

LAP OF LUXURY

I traveled on up to Chelmsford, MA (near Boston) where our home office is last week. I always enjoy going, but this time I was a little apprehensive about the weather. It all went fine, and I was able to arrive home safely Friday night at 10:00 after much greatly appreciated help from Delta. Traveling on Friday was a bitch!

Anyway, when we checked into our hotel we had a nice surprise! We had all received complimentary upgrades to suites! I felt special!

Here is my suite looking toward the door and the bed....
...the little eating, kitchen area....

...the little den area...

...and looking from beside the bed at the rest of the room. (Notice Jeopardy on the TV! You know I am a trivia freak!)

Good trip, good friends, good fun, good food. What more could you ask for? Oh, a good room!!!