Friday, May 18, 2012


Rachel and I (as I have mentioned before) are addicted to The Big Bang Theory.  I thought I would start off the weekend with a funny blog about Sheldon quotes.  Enjoy!

PS - Lil Bit O Smoke is representing in Hartselle this weekend!
PSS - Gray, Black and White are playing tomorrow at Glasses!

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: I wouldn't tell you the secret. (pause) Shhhhh!!!!
Leonard: What secret? Tell me the secret.
Sheldon: Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can't tell dad.
Leonard: Not that secret, the other secret.
Sheldon: I'M BATMAN!!!! SHHHH!!!
(Howard had slipped him some of his mom's valium)

Sheldon: I need to sleep here tonight.
Rajesh: Why?
Sheldon: Howard is a total ass, Bernadette is in Penny's bed, Amy bites and Penny may or may not have coitus with Leonard.
Rajesh: OK, come in.

Sheldon: At my age do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your room mate?
Sheldon: An accident.
Leonard: That's how I'm going to make it look.

Sheldon: Is my hamburger medium-well?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Dill slices not sweet?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Individual relish packets?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Onion rings?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Extra-breading?
Leonard: I asked.
Sheldon: What did they say?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Did you protest?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Vociferously?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Well, then what took you so long?

Sheldon: Ah, gravity - thou art a heartless bitch.

Sheldon: I made tea.
Leonard: I don't want tea.
Sheldon: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Leonard: Then why are you telling me?
Sheldon: It's a conversation starter.
Leonard: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

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